A DUG, A DUG

Hey,daddy, wid yi get us a dug?
A big broon Alsation? Ur a wee white Pug,
Ur a skinny wee terrier ur a big fat bull.
Aw, daddy. Get a dug. Will ye?
N whose dugll it be when it durties the flerr?
and peesn the carpet,and messes the sterr?
Its me ur yur mammyll be taen fur a mug.
Away oot an play. Yur no needin a dug.

Bit, daddy? Thur gien thum away
doon therr at the RSPCA.
Yull get wan fur nothin so ye wull.
Aw daddy. Get us a dug. Wull ye?
Doon therr at the RSPCA
Dae ye think ahve goat nuthin else tae dae
bit get you a dug that ahll huftae mind?
Yur no needin a dug. Ye urny blind!

Bit, daddy, there rerr fur guardin the hoose
an thur bettern cats fur catchin a moose,
an wee Dannys dug gies is barra a pull.
Aw, hey daddy. Get us a dug. Wull ye?
Dae ye hear im? Oan aboot dugs again?
Ah hink that yins goat dugsn the brain.
Ah know whit yell get; a skiten the lug
if ah hear any merr aboot this bliddy dug.

Bit daddy, it widnae be dear tae keep
N ahd make it a basket fur it tae sleep
N ahd take it fur runs away orr the hull.
Aw, daddy. Get us a dug. Wull ye?
Ah dont think thurs ever been emdy like you.
Ye could wheedle the twist oot a flamin coarkscrew.
Noo get doon aff mah neck. Ah dont want a hug.
Awright thats anuff. Ahll get ye a dug.
Aw daddy! A dug! A dug!

by Bill Keys